


All in a Day's Work

by Kjb2609



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2018-03-15 19:50:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3459785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kjb2609/pseuds/Kjb2609
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "The Power of Words"</p><p>Killian Jones finds himself with a new career writing erotic fiction - but how will the residents of Storybrooke react?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What's In a Name?

CHAPTER 1: What’s in a Name?

Emma couldn’t help but smile at the ridiculousness of the situation. The man was full of surprises, certainly, but this was beyond even her wildest expectations.

His book was definitely something else. The effect it had on her shocked her every time she read it, despite having lived much of it. She couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for any woman who didn’t get to experience the dashing leading man in the bedroom! Not that she would be admitting that to anyone!

Still, it would be easier not to have to try and explain a 300 year old pirate to his adoring fans. A pen name and a bit of mystery seemed best. And frankly, if people got a look at the man who could write sex scenes like that…..there would be a riot!

She could tell he was worried she didn’t think it was a good idea. To prove he was wrong, she decided to have a bit of fun with him. Thankfully, the need to use another name on his book was something they agreed on – although they had yet to come up with something that worked. So she set to work making a list of possibilities, sending them his way when they were particularly clever.  
________________________________________________________________________  
The phone messages had started coming in far quicker than he expected. It began with a particularly colourful text from Ruby shortly after he had received the letter from the publishers – even he had blushed at that – and continued with the incessant beeping of his phone from that moment forward.

He had had no doubt that the She Wolf would be unable...or unwilling...to keep his secret, but he had envisioned at least a day of relative anonymity. At least that infernal dwarf had kept his peace…though he imagined it would only be a matter of time before that particular foghorn rang out.

It wasn't that he was embarrassed by this turn of events....on the contrary he was quite proud to think his command of the English language (not to mention his ability to create particularly erotic word pictures) was something that could put him in a position of gainful, if unconventional, employment in this world without magic. Or pirates.

Reliance on Emma in this part of his life was something he had quietly despaired of. Years of hard work, be it in the King's employ or as master of his own vessel had not prepared him for a life of idleness. The doubloons would dry up eventually and he felt strongly that he needed to be a partner to Emma in all parts of their life together, including the day to day expenses.

This opportunity had arrived in a timely manner and he was quietly excited to pursue it. The issue was not yet knowing exactly how comfortable Emma was with his new career. Before the Storybrooke gossip mill hit its full and impressive stride, he would need to find out.

EMMA: Captain Vocabulary??;-)

Killian grinned at his phone when he saw the message. She may just have used that one before today to great effect. Perhaps Swan was comfortable with his writing career after all. But she should perhaps leave the word play to him, a sentiment he returned via text immediately. Over the next few hours, he received several more suggestions, each more racy than the last. He was enjoying the banter immensely, one of the few things he appreciated about the bloody phone was the added element of flirting it allowed him. 

Until the next message came from Dave.

He had to admit it made him slightly uncomfortable to have Emma’s father sending him “creative” name suggestions. 

But not nearly as uncomfortable as when the next one came from Mary Margaret. He tossed the phone aside quickly, unsure how to respond to any of it. He would just let Swan choose and avoid any further discussion.  
_______________________________________________________________________________  
Emma sat in the loft, shoulders shaking with laughter as she sent texts from her parents’ phones. The mental image of her cool and charming pirate confused and horribly, horribly uncomfortable was strangely appealing. She would put him out of his misery later at home, but for now she called him to get the full effect.

“Swan?” His voice had a decided quaver as he answered.

“Everything ok, Killian?” she asked innocently, “You sound a bit rattled.”

“You choose, Swan. I will be pleased with whatever you choose.”

She heard him take a deep breath.

“Just no more text messages.”


	2. Ladies of Storybrooke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's girls' night out...and Ruby has an ulterior motive sure to make Emma uncomfortable.

As usual, it was Ruby who suggested it was time for a girl’s night. The corner booth at The Rabbit Hole was organised and the ladies of Storybrooke (as Ruby addressed them fairly regularly) gathered ready for some relaxation.

And wine.

Definitely wine.

There were definitely a few tenuous links in the group, especially now the effort had been made to include Regina, but before too long they were laughing and sharing the funny details of their lives – toddlers, boyfriends, husbands and work provided plenty of fodder.

Especially when there appeared to be a concerted effort to avoid the topic they were all clearly dying to talk about. 

Surprisingly, it was Regina who broke the silence.

“So, how is Captain Erotica finding his new celebrity status?” She smirked at Emma and raised an eyebrow as Ruby and Belle both choked on their drinks. Mary Margaret attempted to look disapproving for just a moment, but was soon laughing along.

Emma just rolled her eyes. “Killian,” she said with emphasis, “is coping very well thank you. We are planning on him staying fairly anonymous – beyond here in town with you gossipmongers.” The last statement came with a pointed look at Ruby, who grinned and took a sarcastic bow. 

“So no book tour for the good Captain Porno?” asked Belle quietly, causing a fit of giggles from the others. Clearly the wine had loosened her inhibitions, and even Emma had to shake her head with a smile. She suspected Killian would quite enjoy the banter.

“I dare you to call him that to his face,” she challenged with a wink. Despite a decidedly rocky start, the librarian and the pirate had formed quite a friendship and Emma suspected that she might do exactly that.

“Well, actually,” Ruby interrupted, “This talk of our devilish Captain has brought me to the main reason I thought we were due a girl’s night. I would like to propose the creation of the Ladies of Storybrooke Book Club.”

There was a murmur throughout the group, a mixture of dissent and agreement. There was something in Ruby’s face that made Emma suspect she hadn’t yet heard the punchline. Her suspicion heightened when Ruby leant down under the table and retrieved a heavy looking bag.

“Ladies, to get us started I have prepared our first selection.” From the bag, she unearthed a stack of books, each heavily tagged with Post Its. As she began to hand them around the group, Emma quickly realised exactly where this was headed,

“How did you get these?” she asked, a copy of Killian’s book now on the table in front of her. That was a LOT of flags, and she dreaded to think just what they were marking. Her mother was at the table, for God’s sake.

“Let’s call it a spotter’s fee from the publisher,” she smirked. Emma nodded in acceptance…this was not going to be comfortable so she may as well get it over with.

Ruby continued, “I think, for our first selection, that it would be only fitting to support an up and coming” – at this she winked devilishly – “local author. So I present “Rapscallion” by Mr Jones.”

There was a laughing round of applause as Ruby made this announcement.

“I think our names were better,” she added as an aside to Emma, who shrugged it off. They had decided to keep it simple, and a name like Jones was fairly straightforward.  
Emma picked up the book and studied it as Ruby began what sounded like a well thought out synopsis, and her thoughts on the strengths of the book. She even had a detailed explanation of the flagging system she had apparently devised. When she started to categorise which particular carnal acts featured where, Emma decided it was time to head to the bar.

As she waited for her drink, she looked back at her friends, each thumbing through the pages, stopping to read a paragraph here and there. Regina’s lips were pursed in what disdain and Emma heard her say she was not going to be reading smut from Captain Sex Book any time soon. Belle appeared to be reading a passage aloud, initially causing hoots of laughter from Aurora that transformed into rapt attention, eyes widened - clearly enjoying what she heard.

She had said he knew his way around a paragraph. 

She had avoided looking at her mother. But when she did glance in her direction, she was deep in concentration, reading what looked like a blue tagged page, a small smile upon her face.

Emma was quite glad she didn’t know what that meant.


	3. At Home with the Charmings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the wash up of ladies' night, Mary Margaret puts those flags to good use.

When David returned home after his shift at the station, he found Mary Margaret waiting for him with a smile on her face that he was surprised to see. Since Neal had been born, he could count on one hand the number of times he had seen her look at him like that – a mixture of desire and lust that he had to admit was stirring him.  
“Where’s Ne-”, he asked hesitantly. But she launched herself at him before he could finish, kissing him furiously. He relaxed into the kiss, matching her passion with the joy of his beloved wife obviously wanting him. He felt her hands snake around his neck, drawing him closer if that was at all possible. Gasping, she drew back, eyes filled with promise.  
“Belle offered to babysit. We have the house to ourselves…and I have plans for you,” she added, her voice dripping with suggestion. Throwing away the last vestiges of doubt, David decided to make the most of this opportunity and followed her lead towards their bedroom without hesitation.

Later, they lay cradled in each other’s arms, exhausted but supremely satisfied. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head and caressed her cheek gently.  
“That was quite an experience, my Queen,” he teased. “That thing with your tongue? That was new.”  
“You liked it?” she asked, a hint of doubt creeping into her voice, unsure.  
He held her tighter. “God, yes. It was amazing. You are amazing.” He felt her relax into him again, confident she had given him quite the encounter.  
“Who do I need to thank for suggesting that one to you?” he teased. He heard her sudden intake of breath and turned to look at his wife. As he did, something caught his eye on the nightstand. Mary Margaret’s usual pile of favourite books sat there, but on the top was one he had not seen there before. Although he had seen it. A bit too often just recently.  
“Please tell me I don’t have to thank our son in law?”  
She bit her lip and looked mildly ashamed – before her face transformed with a wicked and wanton smile that outshone the one she had greeted him with earlier in the evening.  
“I may just have a few more tricks up my sleeve as well,” she assured him with a decidedly naughty wink.  
As she leant in to kiss him, slowly and assuredly, he decided not to overthink it.  
________________________________________________  
Breakfast at Granny’s with Emma and Killian was a long standing Saturday morning tradition. Mary Margaret and David arrived first, still blissfully content from an evening of passion that had continued once their small prince had been returned and slept. Cuddled in the booth together, the connection between them was palpable.  
When Emma slid in to the booth, she noticed immediately how relaxed and happy her parents were.  
“You two are looking pretty loved up for an old married couple,” she quipped. David grinned in response, while Mary Margaret giggled in a way any child would find disturbing coming from their mother. Emma’s eyes shifted between them.  
“I don’t want to know, do I?” she said, shaking her head. A sudden realisation hit her as she remembered the conversation of the infamous book club evening.  
“Oh god,” she sighed, “You read the damn book. I don’t need to think about this. This is child abuse, quite frankly.” It was at this moment that Killian joined them, looking curiously at Emma and then to his in laws.  
“Is all well, Swan?” he asked. Emma just shook her head and buried it in her hands. Killian looked quizzically at David and Mary Margaret, then back to his wife. David’s cheeks began to colour and Mary Margaret lapsed into a silent laughing fit that she tried to hide behind her menu. Emma let out a frustrated groan that had the other diners looking up from their pancakes in surprise.Killian was beyond confused, a situation that was not helped by David reaching over to shake his hand.  
“All is very well, mate,” he stated. “But I believe a thank you is in order.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Many thanks to athingforloveliness for editing this chapter)


	4. Tales from the Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Belle and Killian have work to do in the library - but will how will Belle react to his new book?

The morning after the inaugural Book Club meeting, Belle was certainly feeling the after effects. Not a big drinker usually, the combination of wine and a late night had done its worst. 

Made considerably later by the fact she had found herself engrossed in Killian’s book until the early hours. It was not her usual fare, to be honest, but he really was a talented writer, painting pictures with his words and phrases that had her living (and loving) along with his characters. 

(She was considering leaving the book lying around, a little hint for Will if he would take it. He wasn’t much of a reader, but she suspected he could be convinced in this case.)

As she opened the library for the day, she secretly hoped the readers of Storybrooke would leave her alone to nurse her hangover. And perhaps to finish a few more chapters in peace. The flags kindly provided by Ruby told her that was some particularly interesting reading ahead. 

She spent the first hour in solitude, a bit of reshelving interspersed with a few stolen moments of reading and a large cup of tea. She found herself exhaling sharply a couple of times as she read, the images so clear in her imagination that she didn’t hear the door open or her customer approach the desk.

“Good morning, lass.”

His greeting startled her, her attention well and truly focused somewhere else, and she looked up at him slightly disoriented.

“Oh, Killian,” she replied, trying to discretely hide the book under the counter momentarily, but then, having a brief flashback to a conversation she had had with Emma last night, she placed it prominently on the desk. She smiled, and Killian noted an unfamiliar twinkle in the eye of his usually quiet friend.

“How are you today, Captain Porno?” she asked jauntily. He was taken aback at her forthrightness, but when she winked cheekily at him he could not help but laugh and take an elegant bow.

“Good thing Swan told me what that expression meant,” he joked, “As I am not sure you’d be wanting to explain it to me, lass.” She giggled, knowing he was probably right about that. 

She leaned towards him, placing her hand on his arm, a genuine smile on her lips.

“It’s wonderful, Killian, really. A bit more…graphic…than I’m used to, but you are a wonderful writer.” He felt his cheeks colour at this praise from the person amongst all his friends whose opinion probably mattered most to him when it came to his writing. Despite the obvious humour of this situation, and although the whole thing may have started as something of a joke between Swan and himself, as the process had continued he had found himself quite invested in it. He wanted to his work to be seen as quality, despite the subject matter.

He patted the hand on his arm.

“Thank you, lass, that means the world coming from you.” 

For a moment, they stood, just enjoying a friendship that could so easily never have happened, circumstances being different. 

Belle broke the silence. “So, Captain Fornication, are you here to work, or bask in your own glory?” 

Laughing aloud, he bowed again and headed off towards the stacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter never appeared in my original plan for this story - but then we had Scarlet Beauty spoiler lovely scenes of Killian and Belle and things happened!


	5. Dinner at Granny's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word is getting out - and it is not just the ladies who are enjoying Killian's book.

Regina would never, ever admit it. To anyone. But that damn pirate definitely had a way with words. Despite her protestations when out with Emma and Snow that she would not be reading his ridiculous novel, she had been unable to resist a quick flick through the pages marked by Ruby as especially interesting.

And somehow she had found herself drawn in to the world he had created – a world that certainly borrowed from their native realm – full of adventure and love and, if she was honest with herself, mind-blowing sex scenes. And if she had felt a pang of jealousy towards Emma as a result, well she wasn’t going to be admitting THAT to anyone.

She shouldn’t be surprised, she supposed. The man certainly had a lot of years of experience to draw material from and she had no doubt he had been a hit with ladies no matter where he had been. 

Still, it was hardly behaviour befitting a queen to be all hot and bothered by a dirty novel. Though when Robin had tried the thing on page 235….

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Emma and Killian were well aware that their friends were now very familiar with the book – they had become accustomed to the odd sideways glance and suggestive questions from the ladies of their acquaintance. Ruby had made dropping actual quotes into general conversation into a fine art, in all honesty, and they often found themselves in hysterics at home as they remembered some of her particularly creative attempts.

But it was one evening in Granny’s when they realised the appeal had reached beyond the female population of Storybrooke.

They had been enjoying a quiet dinner when Ruby appeared with a beer and placed it in front of Killian. He looked up in surprise.

“Thanks, love, but I didn’t order a drink.” 

Ruby grinned, “Actually, it is from the gentleman in the corner.” She gestured to the end of the bar, where Will Scarlett alone sat nursing a glass. He raised it in Killian’s direction, cocked his head and grinned. Slightly bemused, Killian raised his glass in return as Belle slid on to the stool next to Will, tucking her arm into his and planting a kiss on his cheek. 

“Wonder what that was for?” Emma asked. Killian shrugged and took a sip of his beer. Scarlett was an odd character, but he would take his drink, no matter what the reason. 

When Granny appeared with a glass of her best rum some time later, they were no less confused. Killian looked at Granny questioningly and she snorted. “From the handsome gentleman at the dart board,” she said as she indicated Robin Hood. Killian gave Robin a confused wave of thanks and the outlaw, in return, took a courtly bow. Coupled with a decided smirk.

“I don’t know what they are bloody on about,” Killian said, “But Robin didn’t skimp on the rum so I’ll take it.” They went back to their dinner, soon oblivious to all but each other. Quiet moments were something they worked hard to find and they were determined to enjoy this one.

Emma was finishing a slice of apple pie, with Killian stealing little bites from her plate when the opportunity arrived – dessert, pirate style, he called it – when Ruby returned once more, this time with the bottle that had previously taken pride of place on Granny’s top shelf, two glasses in her other hand. 

“What’s going on, Ruby?” Emma could hold her curiosity no longer. “Clearly we are missing something.”

Ruby grinned widely and cocked her head towards Victor, who had come in to wait for her shift to be over. “A gift from the good doctor,” she smiled, “In appreciation of services rendered.” She leaned down and gave Killian a kiss on the cheek.

“And that’s from me – for the same. Now I am off to render a few of my own.” She winked lasciviously at Emma and turned to go, but before she had taken a step, she looked back at them. Seeing that all was still not clear, she shook her head and spoke as precisely as she could.

“The boys really, REALLY like the book.”


	6. All Hail Captain Vocabulary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Killian's book a big success, the residents of Storybrooke come out to celebrate.

The excitement had eventually died down. The residents of Storybrooke went back to their normal lives, though possibly a little more exciting for some of the happily coupled, and Killian and Emma returned to a world where people no longer eyed them suspiciously, wondering what kind of fun THEY were having.

For something that had begun as a joke between them, the book had had more of an impact on their lives than Emma could ever have imagined. Though he never admitted as much, Emma knew that the generous cheque from the publishing company had been a source of great relief to Killian. Their partnership meant the world to him, and the day he had put a down payment on their harbourside cottage she had seen the pride in his eyes as a he contributed to his family’s financial stability.

And when there was enough for him to no longer need to “borrow” a boat when he heard the call of the open seas, well that was an added bonus.

When they heard the news that he was now the proud author of a book at the top of the bestseller lists everywhere, Belle insisted she host a party in his honour at the library. He had missed the chance for book tours and autograph sessions – as had the ladies of the world, Ruby had joked – so it seemed only fitting that his friends and family would celebrate with him. After all, Storybrooke was always up for a party.

Emma and Killian walked arm in arm towards the library on the night of the party. She tucked her head into the crook of his neck and felt the grin spread across his face. She paused, and curled her arms around his neck, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Need a quiet moment before the onslaught, Swan?” he asked. She stretched up on her toes to kiss him softly then took his face in her hands. She looked intently into the eyes of the man who had stood behind her, beside her, every day since they met, realising that she hadn’t ever told him how she felt about all of this.

“You know how proud I am of you, don’t you?” she asked. He leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead, the feather soft touch of his lips still making a flush of warmth spread down her spine even after all this time,

“Aye, Swan, that I do.” 

But she continued, regardless, “You wrote an amazing book, Killian, really something spectacular. I just got lost in it –“

At that opportunity, the devilish pirate made an unsurprising appearance. “I’m a hell of an author, Swan,” he quipped, “And as for you getting lost in me…”

She slapped the back of his head playfully. “Seriously, pirate, I want you to know that the money thing was never an issue, but I am so proud to see you have this. And I have no idea what you will put that thesaurus of a brain of yours to next, but I know it will be amazing too.”

He pulled her in close, her faith in him the best review he could ask for. She had more she wanted to say, but she decided to hold her peace. The moment would present itself.

“Better not keep your adoring public waiting any longer,” she whispered.

The sign above the door was visible from a block away.

“Congratulations Captain Vocabulary.”

When Emma realised what it said, she snorted. “I’m guessing Ruby didn’t make that one,” she quipped. Killian raised an eyebrow but said nothing. As they entered the library, they found themselves surrounded by family and friends, all quick to offer their congratulations on his success. 

The champagne flowed and the room was filled with chattering voices. Killian was in his element here, and Emma could see what it meant to him to be accepted as part of this community. It was a long way from his first appearance in town and to see him here, joking and laughing with the people who now counted him among their number made her heart swell.

Belle called them to attention, the official part of the evening due to start. She called Killian to the makeshift stage and, one hand on his shoulder, she announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, we are here tonight to celebrate with our dear friend Killian. We may not have expected this turn of events, but there is no doubt that he is a most talented writer…” 

Here she was interrupted by a series of wolf whistles and cat calls from some of the rowdier guests, ably led by the doctor. Killian took a mock bow in response, his grin wide and full of bravado as Belle continued, “Yes, yes, we get it. As I was saying, Killian has written a fabulous book and we are so proud that the rest of this realm has seen that as well. So I ask you to charge your glasses to toast the good captain.”

She raised her champagne glass and announced, “To Captain Fornication.”

The assembled guests responded in kind – except each had chosen their own favourite title.

“Captain Sex Book.” “Erotica.” “Porno.” “Smut.” Killian threw his head back and laughed, pulling Emma into him so they could enjoy the moment together. He thanked them all profusely for their kindness and encouraged them to continue the festivities.

Sitting down next to his Swan, pulling her close again, he took a moment to just enjoy where he was in his life. A new career that he felt passionate about – he was mapping out a new book already – a home with Henry and his Princess, a seaworthy vessel to call his own. How Captain Hook had found himself a family man with roots firmly planted, he didn’t know… but he was sure it had most to do with the woman beside him.

As if sensing his thoughts, Emma kissed him gently and spoke softly in his ear.

“Have you thought about your next book, Captain?” He began to answer but she silenced him with a finger on his lips. He looked at her quizzically, unable to read the expression on her face, which was certainly an unusual state of affairs.

“Because I was thinking you might like to try something a bit more family friendly? Something you could maybe read to OUR child?”

It took a moment for him to register her words and the way her hand rested gently on her stomach. His eyes widened as realisation dawned on him and he picked her up and spun her around, his joy at being a father knowing no bounds.

“Swan,” he sighed, “You’re a bloody marvel.”


End file.
